After Rep. Thomas Massie brought articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Crimes Whiskey Pete Hegseth this week, Rep. Drunken Van Orden quickly jumped to his fellow alcoholic’s defense. When Matt Laslo asked him for comment about it, DVO was ready to brawl:
“I will f****** punch someone in the face for talking about Hegseth,” Rep. Derrick Van Orden tells me in my latest piece @RawStory…
….before driving off on his Harley from the Capitol https://t.co/nyLgaMmrXO pic.twitter.com/QTODyOCKJy
— Matt Laslo (@MattLaslo) September 17, 2026
Per Laslo, DVO wasn’t done with that:
But Van Orden says he’s ready for a public Hegseth debate.
“If these morons are talking s— about Pete, you know, they’re barking up the wrong tree,” the former Navy SEAL said.
But wait! There’s more. There’s always more.
Apparently, DVO figured that if there weren’t any teenagers to take his anger out on, a former middle school teacher would have to do.
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