It’s been just shy of a month since Kentucky’s least favorite tortoise was hospitalized after suffering a major cardiac event on June 14th that reportedly led to the Bluegrass State’s biggest embarrassment being found unconscious on the floor, requiring CPR.
In the days and weeks since the news of Senator Mitch McConnell’s medical emergency — the most recent in what has been a long and ever-growing list of increasingly serious medical issues for the congressman over the past year — Americans from coast to coast have been left with the burning question: Is Mitch McConnell finally dead?
To say that details surrounding the Kentucky KKKongressman’s current condition have been sparse would be the understatement of the century. After audio of the 911 call to McConnell’s home was first released by independent Capitol Hill journalist Desiree Townsend, the far-right Republican’s team vaguely confirmed that the 84-year-old senator had been hospitalized, but the crickets we’ve heard from McConnell or his team in the days and weeks since have proven louder than the banks of the Ohio River at midnight in mid-July.
read more