Tangerine is an orange tabby kitten available for adoption at the Alvin Animal Adoption Center, in Alvin. (Animal ID: 9762) Photographed Tuesday, July 2, 2019. Tangerine is a sweet, playful kitten. (Photo by Karen Warren/Houston Chronicle via Getty Images)
The cat distribution system is functioning in Lawrenceville, Georgia this week. The Gwinnett Stripers were blessed with a little baby orange furball yesterday.
Check out that third from the last panel. My word, I don’t need anything else to take care and shelter at the moment, but I’m finding a blanket for this handsome fellow if he shows up at my door. They have requested names for the little one. The finalists are:
ChiPurr Jones
Parker
Cracker Jack
Dinger
Come on, y’all. What are we doing here? After all, do you remember the last time Gwinnett named anything? It was back in 2017. People were allegedly super confused about having two teams named the Braves, Gwinnett and Atlanta. They were buying tickets to the Triple-A team and very disappointed to find not-the-Atlanta-Braves take the field. In the mid-2010s, it was super easy to tell them apart. One was 75% composed of players that were never going to succeed long term in Major League Baseball, and the other one was Gwinnett.
But no matter, they were going to solicit names from the public. The name that got the most attention was the Buttons, named after Founding Father and former Governor of Georgia Button Gwinnett. The Buttons quickly opened a huge lead in the voting. Then the social team leaked the Buttons as the winner. That was pulled down almost immediately. Gwinnett went forward with the Stripers with their booger-green Bass-Pro-Shop-inspired uniforms.
Call the team whatever, but we’re talking something important here. This cat is going to answer to this name for the rest of its life. Well OK, they’ll call it that and he’ll ignore them. But this is an important matter. So what should we name this kitty? They have proven that they aren’t beholden to the final list anyway. We have been workshopping Martin Purrez, Martin Purrado (or Martin Gato), and Meowchal Harris II internally. What say you guys?
Yeah, it’s cats today for your question, but the Braves are 25 games up right now when this time last year they were 61-76 last year and about to be walked off by the Phillies on the 30th. Let’s pump the brakes a little.